On Writing Realistic Dialogue

I’m sure we’re familiar with the frustration, the horror, of reading a truly great novel only to be pulled out of the story by inauthentic dialogue. You’d think if the author could get everything else right, they could nail the dialogue. But dialogue, like so much of writing, is harder than it seems.

Here are my tips on how to write realistic, non-hokey dialogue, some of which *might* make you seem like a creeper:

1) Listen to how people actually talk — Listen closely to both conversations you’re involved in and ones that you’re not. Pay attention to words that are used, where the emphasis is, and how the discussion progresses. The office, coffee shops, restaurants, waiting for a movie to start, these are all fantastic places to eavesdrop.

But one of my new favorite places to observe people is on the bus. The other day I was listening in on a conversation between two “tough guys.” They were swearing up one wall and down the other (note, the usage of curse words and what they’re accentuating is especially relevant in making dialogue realistic), talking about how one of them had to sell their car for $200 in order to pay the bills. When we arrived at Union Station, I happened to be between the two gentlemen as we disembarked. Both “tough guys” thanked the bus driver by saying, “Thank you, sir.” They were gracious, polite, and not nearly as tough as they let on.

2) Read A LOT — This is an overall writing tip, but is especially true for dialogue. Read a variety of genres and authors. Read books you love, but also books that you don’t. Reread your favorite books, paying particular attention to masterly crafted dialogue. What about it works? What about it do you appreciate? Do those things in your own writing! Similarly, if you stumble across a passage of dialogue that pulls you out of the story, reread it and figure out why.

I just read a book with god-awful dialogue. It was riddled with frilly adverbs and gigantic adjectives, but worst of all, there were no contractions. For example, the male love interest said something like, “I am frightfully happy to see you on this fine sweltering morning.” News flash, no one actually talks like that!

Use contractions, slang, merged words (gotta instead of got to, etc.). Don’t be afraid to use large words, just make sure it’s authentic to whichever character is talking. I have a hard time believing the hunky love interest would use the word frightfully.

A couple of my favorite books to reread for dialogue are JK Rowling/Robert Galbraith’s Cormoran Strike Mysteries, where the dialogue is the main component that drives the plot forward, and Rainbow Rowell’s Fangirl, where Reagan’s witty and unique dialogue steals the show.

3) Read your work out loud — This was a huge benefit to my writing overall, but especially for my dialogue. Reenact your scenes; you’ll be shocked at what you notice! Pay attention to sentences or words you struggle with. If you’re stumbling over the words while reading out loud, there’s a good chance the dialogue isn’t natural, and that readers will stumble over it as well.

4) Practice and share your work — After you’ve written something you’re proud of, share it! Hopefully with someone who will be honest without tearing your spirit to shreds. Listen to criticism, consider feedback, go back to the drawing  board. Do this over and over again and your work will flourish.

One further caution for writing dialogue: don’t write the most amazing, Pulitzer-worthy dialogue only to ruin it with superfluous dialogue tags and other accoutrements. For more on those, and other overarching dialogue themes, see this post I wrote a few months ago.

Writers, how do you write realistic dialogue? Are there any other tips or tricks you’ve picked up?

What I’m reading: If You Want To Write by Brenda Ueland (Still… savoring her wise words on the creative process)

What I’m listening to: Tycho — Awake